Question by CJ: Can’t figure this out? ?
I’m recently divorced and after a couple years since my ex left I have decided to start dating. I met this gentleman and we seem to be perfect for one another. We are pregnant (6 months) with a baby girl but even before this we talked about buying a house together and essentially raising a family together basically starting all over again at almost 40 lol but the problem is I have a special needs child who is 9. My child takes alot of special attention and care as well as alot of money and time but he is my son and I love him. I would give the world and everything in it for him but this gentleman doesn’t think that he can live with my son’s problems and doesn’t want our brand new baby to come to live in with it either. I love all my children not one more than the other but I am now being told if I can’t somehow make my handicapped son normal that I won’t be allowed to have my baby with me in my home. He said she would come and live with him and I could see her during the work week while he was at work because well I work from home ( I own my own business). I feel like I have been demoted suddenly from mom to incubator to babysitter. I wasn’t even given a choice or asked what I would like our daughter’s name to be… he just picked it and said that was what it was going to be. His older daughter is already talking about how this baby will be just like her all while I am getting lectured on the phone by him that I need to grow up and fix my son or I won’t be able to have my daughter. I can’t fix him!!! It’s not like he is broken he is just needing of special considerations and care which no one in the world can provide or find him like I can. I am working with physicians, surgeons and psychologists plus his school (and have been for his whole life) to brew a formula of success for my son and it’s working but I’m afriad he will never live up to this gentleman’s standards. What else can I be expected to do here?? I’ve sacrificed everything for my son to help him with a distinct knowledge that there would be good for my son out of it but that he would never be quote: Normal. I am distraught, can this guy really take my daughter once she is born??
I wanted to nurse her. I nursed my son but he has suggested if I want to nurse I pump so he can have bottles to feed her. I don’t want to pump. I don’t want it to turn into a fight but if I have to I will.. to the bitter end! I just feel very hopeless right now like I have no say so and no rights here. I feel like a human incubator! I have never felt so horribly and painfully used in my life!!! I can’t stop crying!!!
I told him I can’t be away from my baby not for a minute after she is just born. I wouldn’t be able to eat sleep or think with having her with in feet of me at least for the first 4 or so months. He said I need to grow up and get over it! I am mom though. How does a mother get over having their brand new baby ripped from her side?

Best answer:

Answer by Ethel
He has no right to remove your infant daughter from you, at all. Contact a family law attorney to prevent it before you deliver, and nurse her to guarantee there is a very good reason to keep her with you at all times – that pumping would be an undue burden. See about a restraining order in that he is suggesting kidnapping, and verbally abusive about your son and perhaps to him(?). Fight the douchebag, moms are most important the first 4 years – dads not so much.

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